Marijuarmour

Recently came to my notice that the Taliban are covering their tanks in a thick layer of dope plants because of marijuanas heat screening properties.
Weed tank..Thats scary.

Guy and madge slob

Madonnas recent child procuring exploits remind me of the Harry Enfeild " The Slobs" sketch where Waynetta tells Wayne; "But I wanna li'il brahn baby, jus like the other girls on the estate".
Fucking white trash all.

Stage presence

Last week I had the privilege of interviewing Barry Adamson, King of the soundtrack genre.(The interview will be published on the Big City Redneck site and in hardcopy early November).
Having followed the mans work for most of my life, and seen him live more than once, I anticipated the dark charisma, the lounge lizard criminal charm.
What I encountered was just that, very friendly, but despite his easy, affable manner his was a presence that was nothing short of astonishing in its dimensions.
Experiencing this dark wit, and measured, unassailable cool whilst I fidgeted with my cigarettes and notes, sweating like an Alabama rapist, it occurred to me how much physically larger he appeared in person than when I had seen him onstage.
Onstage Barry is a fairly solid guy with a shaved head looking like he stands at about six foot. Stage presence? -Of course. Cool? -Oh yeah.
But sat behind a table in a cafe in Notting Hill he seems particularly HUGE.
I racked my little mind for a while....Surely a stage exists for the purpose of elevating, lighting correctly, and presenting /projecting an "act"? Surely the five men stood behind him bolstered his presence somewhat? And the music?
Arn't "performers" supposed to look bigger ON stage?

I think I witnessed a role reversal. And gained a bit of insight into the performer/ audience relationship.
On Tuesday night he was facing the two thousand eyed monster of which I was a part.
Psychic vampires all. Consumers.
But today I was the rabbit in his headlamps.

I'm fucking glad, in fact, that I didnt let my ridiculous presuppositions apparrant. Had I done so I fear I would not have elicited such a freindly response.
And It was supposed to be me interviewing him...
Afterwards he said he liked my questions, (yeah, I bet he says that to all the girls) and that he appreciated not being asked about Nick Cave.. He said that when interviewers ask him that, he replies; "well, the last time I saw Nick he had a moustache"..

I am now going to go and force bamboo splinters down my fingernails for a little while to remind me not to be such a barely concealed fanboy. Whilst feeling fairly smug for giving a reasonable account of myself.


"It may have been my mission but it sure as hell was his damn boat" Capt. Willard.
"Apocalypse Now".

Message to solipsistic twitterers with God complexes;

THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE IS A VERY CROWDED PLACE.