Nothing to see here...Move along now...

Of virtually no interest to anyone(as is my assumption)is the fact that I am in a previously unparalelled state of self disgust and contrition..My pathetic inability to deal with my addiction has meant I now have to present myself, temporarily but wretchedly broken at the feet of a govt. agency.

Congressman Bud Dwyer. An American hero.

Someone who chose to face death on HIS OWN terms..Instead of years spent rotting away in a stinking cell, he chose the route of the truly heroic and spectaclular, and enriched all our lives.
An inspiration to not enough people.
An act of utter purity and of final truth in a dishonest and tainted world.
Thanks Bud.

Glory glory halleluja, you'll get what's comin to ya...

No more about the creeping scum-trash that judge,and seek to harm me...Theyre going to get their wagons fixed and, hey..It doesnt make for good blogging.
Thanks to all who stood by me and didnt just think it all the product of a horribly drug-warped mind. It wasnt.
A new day is rising..I feel strong. Stronger than ever.
L.A.M.F.
Otter

When you REALLY stare into the abyss.....

You get a fit of the giggles...

Doug P.

God I miss my cat.

Kali help them..

They have tortured me long enough.
I feel like an animal in a cage that is poked with a stick every time it seeks sleep or any vestige of peace.
I am on the point of a complete breakdown of control over my actions and (already questionable) sanity. Suicide? no. They genuinely seek this end, but I guarantee that if any life is lost, it will NOT be mine.
I am a human bomb that has lain hidden deep in the clay that forms the baisin, the crucible of this city.The stillborn progeny of a Stuka that screamed me into existance...
Now what was for decades a latent, passive energy that would one day corrode into history, once again sits primed, increments away from (I cannot even add the "possible" caveat)inevitable detonation.
Those who would toy with the unstable, understand not the implications of what they have
unearthed.
I sit here..
Ticking.


Watch me.

A confession..

My confession:Been doing the deca-dance with the gear for a few months..The constant hell Ive been getting from my upstairs neighbours, (who have made it clear they have a camera, f- knows how, on me by delivering a running commentary via the non-existant soundproofing between our flats, on WHATEVER it is I am doing, WHEREVER I may be..) hasnt helped.
My long standing mental health issues have returned, and I expect them to try to use the information they spend ALL their time collating against me.
Even now she's/they are winding me up with whispers that come either from a speaker she dropped into the wall cavity or via the tv or computer speakers.(have to look into this..)
Now, reader, this may sound utterly schizoid but after a conversation with a tech guy from my net provider,it was explained as being utterly and emanantly possible.*
What upsets me is that I have done NOTHING whatsoever to these people that could justify their concerted attempts to ruin my life...
They are justifying it by invoking a flame job I unwisely did on some septic tank (yank)months ago.
However, if they expect shame or embarrassment on my part, they got the wrong bloke.
Started the day with a stiff dose of meth, and look upon the absolutely inescapable prospect of withdrawal with a sense of utter dread.
Also I have financially ruined myself, just to put a fucking cherry on it.
Wish me luck, I implore you.

*Addend..The tech guy at bulldog explained that my neighbours apparrant ability to gethis/her voice to come out of my tv/comp speakers is done by "cracking the freq." apparrantly..